Eve Annunziato

Is Your Relationship A Weakening Mesocylone? August 18, 2008

Filed under: relationships — Eve Annunziato @ 12:39 am
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

When I woke up this week and surprisingly found a dozen roses and a note that says, “I’m proud of you and I believe in you,” I thought, “I really like this guy!”  And, it got me thinking about relationships and the different seasons we all experience on a periodic (sometimes daily!) basis.  One of Charlie’s past posts relates weather cycles to our own life cycles in order to help maintain balance in our everyday lives.  I can relate to relationship waves – I am very well aware that in a marriage they go up and down.  I’m quite in tune that we’re all commonly working toward keeping the communication open and the intimacy healthy.  As a result, I’ve made a concerted effort, this year in particular, to spend quality time with my loving spouse in order to make him a top priority.  I’ve also failed in this area at times – big time.  Therefore, I know first hand, that if I begin to lose focus on him and the importance of our relationship I can easily head us directly into the path of a destructive storm.  So, I hope you enjoy this reminder from Charlie as much as I did:

What the heck is a mesocycle, you ask, and what does it have to do with relationships?  Great question!

A mesocyclone is a rotating storm.  Mesocyclones can strengthen into full-bore supercells which in turn can produce tornadoes.  They can be very destructive and are not taken lightly by meteorologists when they show up on a radar screen.   But today, I don’t want to focus the potential danger of mesocyclones; I want to focus on their life cycle for a moment.

Once a mesocyclone has formed and is in the mature stage, it can only continue if the circulation stays strong.  These storms are an amazing interdependent system of wind, pressure and moisture.  The strongest ones can even overcome external forces that work to tear them apart.   But during the weakening stage, the rotation begins to slow, spread out and pull apart until eventually it dissipates.

Relationships can be much the same – they often resist the outside negative influences of the world when they are strong but fall apart when spouses begin to pull apart from one another.  Take the following scenario…  You begin to withdraw emotionally and physically from your spouse because he or she seems to be focused on something else more than you (i.e. career, work, money, hobby, themselves or another person, etc).  Your spouse senses your withdrawal and coldness and responds by spending even less time with you.  In turn, you get more and more frustrated and close your emotional door nearly all the way.  Now, your spouse does the same.  Eventually, you seem to only argue with your spouse during the few times you speak to one another at all.  This is a very dangerous cycle.  Eventually the relationship weakens to the point that it slows and separates just like the dying mesocyclone.  What once was a formidable force that could resist the outside negative influences of the world is now just a whisper in the wind.  Sad.  What’s even more sad is that much of this “pulling apart” of the relationship can likely be avoided, but it takes guts and it takes willingness to swallow some pride.  If you find your natural reaction is to pull away when your spouse seems to be doing the same, one of you HAS to stop and turn around or you’ll both keep going in opposite directions.

I’ve found that those with the most successful marriages don’t get caught in this cycle very often.  Talk about your problems.  Don’t be passive aggressive.  Share your feelings.  Don’t get defensive when your mate voices concerns.  Listen.  This obviously won’t solve all marriages but it sure would help many.  It sure has helped mine.


13 Responses to “Is Your Relationship A Weakening Mesocylone?”

  1. Catherine Behan Says:

    Hi Eve…

    Fabulous post! Great metaphor with the storm idea. I can relate to it so well!

    I am in my second marriage and am exquisitely aware of the slippery slope of pulling away emotionally….for any reason.

    I am determined to live this marriage differently and I am learning to get a kick out of myself and all of my creative energy. I see when I am a little too hyper for my man and I know when I need to find something to occupy myself.

    In my first marriage, I expected my man to read my mind a lot and that did not work out so well. It isn’t easy for me to be direct but I am practicing and I am glad to say that my man LOVES directness and it is bringing us closer. Imagine!

    Good luck to you and I am happy you are playing the relationship game with such a good man!


  2. Catherine, great points. Thanks for your insight. We women can learn so much from each other!

    I appreciate you stopping by my blog and I look forward to reading your latest posts, too.

  3. Catherine Behan Says:

    Hey Eve,

    I am so passionate about helping women support each other instead of competing or being suspicious of one another. We have so much to share!


  4. I agree and share your passion! THANKS!

  5. It’s a pleasure doing life with you!

  6. melissa1970 Says:

    Ok look at you and your sweet man. This was an incredible metaphor and OH can I RELATE! Ha. It seems that you and Charlie are living in a wonderful season, and it is wonderful to witness, even if it is mostly through the computer screen. Blessings on you both!

  7. Thanks, Melissa. I know all too well how seasons can change in an instant. And, you don’t have to be a meteorologist to figure that one out!! It happens most to me as soon as I let my guard down too low and take my relationship for granted…

  8. fullofboys Says:

    I love this…Heath and I keep an open communication often. Life is continually evolving and we need to keep talking things out…otherwise I know we would disconnect from each other. Great observations!

  9. deanjbaker Says:

    interesting to see this, well said

  10. Jenni Catron Says:

    What a great analogy! Thanks for sharing this. It’s hard to keep a storm brewing for 9+ years! 🙂

  11. @Jenn – I love the way Heath and you communicate – you both are very focused in this area!

    @Dean – Thanks!!

    @Jenni – I hear ya!!!

  12. Tracy Says:

    Awesome analogy! I love your “don’t get caught in the cycle” —organized chaos usually works best around here!

    Can’t wait to see you Monday! 🙂

  13. […] Is Your Relationship A Weakening Mesocylone? « Eve Annunziato "This obviously won’t solve all marriages but it sure would help many. It sure has helped mine." – Eve (tags: personal_development life success) […]

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