Eve Annunziato

In Marriage, Nice is a Necessity… July 8, 2008

Filed under: Just thinking... — Eve Annunziato @ 12:58 am
Tags: , ,

Eve’s husband, Charlie, here. I’m continuing my stint as a guest blogger for Eve. I’ve enjoyed reading the comments from the previous posts and I’m glad you’re reading! Thanks!

This week I wrote the following over on my blog at lifebarometer.wordpress.com…

Whereas you love your spouse deeply;

Whereas your spouse deeply loves you;

Whereas your happiness is increased when your marriage is of high quality;

Whereas the quality of your marriage is highly influenced by how you treat one another;

Whereas how you treat your spouse is a daily decision;

Then…

Shouldn’t you be nicer to your spouse than anyone else?

This post is the result of a conversation Eve and I were having in the car a few days ago. We were musing on how we truly enjoy each other’s company. One of the reasons we get along so well is because we make a concerted effort to be nice to one another. Eve is great at this. She freely gives words of affirmation. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy walking into the door of my home at the end of the day and have the person I most adore be kind to me. The simple act of being nice goes a long way into making marriage work. I know this isn’t always easy. There are days you probably don’t feel like saying much and there are other days when you might be in a bad mood. But on those days, not saying much is nice compared to flying off the handle and verbally bashing your spouse over something insignificant. Even when Eve and I disagree, we try to respect each other’s opinions and not attack in a mean-spirited way. This keeps our discussions on track and in control. It’s easier to want to spend time with someone who’s nice. It’s easier to enjoy time together with someone who’s nice. Life’s more fun when your spouse is nice.

I’ll leave you with this thought… The next time your about to walk through the door of your home and see your husband or wife, which would you rather have happen? You walk in the door and are greeted with kind words of affection and genuine interest or with a short “hello” and a cold shoulder… I bet I know what your answer is. Could you be a nicer spouse and if so, how would that affect your marriage?

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13 Responses to “In Marriage, Nice is a Necessity…”

  1. fullofboys Says:

    I love this…I think I sometimes fall into the ‘Heath can handle my emotions’ mode and don’t make the effort to show him how much I truly appreciate him! It is something I try to work on daily but, of course, I still slip up!

    I think this is really practical in not just marriage but other situations as well, especially in leadership. Do you want someone who is too focused to take interest in you leading you or someone that encourages and affirms you?

  2. Great point, as always, Jenn. I too work on this daily, and I too slip up (we ALL do!). Thanks for your comment!

  3. Eric Says:

    Good advice! It is real easy to play off your spouse’s
    emotions, but not practical. I agree that your relationship is better when everyone is nice, but it takes day-to-day effort, sometimes.

    Great Post!

  4. Isn’t that the truth, Eric, it does take effort one day at a time! Thanks for your response.

  5. Pete Wilson Says:

    You guys have been a great example to me in this area. Thanks Charlie and Eve!

  6. Ah, thanks for the kind words, Pete. It’s great to hear from one of the nicest couples we know!!

  7. Lori R. Says:

    Wow, truly a great word in this week’s blog. I am going to make an extra effort on this one, after a long day “nice” is the last thing on my mind. I wanted to tell you both that I look forward to your blog each week. Your wisdom is an encouragement and your words are helping me grow in my Christian walk–

  8. Thanks so much, Lori. We appreciate you! Thanks for reading and for your kind words! Love ya!!

  9. Geez, on my blog, I just posted Mask #1 yesterday revealing my marriage is kinda needing something. I confessed I’m not always very nice. So this post really spoke to me. Nice is a necessity, and I need to do a better job. Thanks for getting under my skin.

  10. Hey Melissa, marriage has MANY seasons so I understand where you’re coming from… Thanks for your response and I love reading your blog!

  11. loridknerr Says:

    Oooohhhh, I’m with Melissa, I could be much “nicer” to my hubby. Of course, it works both ways. Why on earth do we sometimes find it easier to be nice to EVERYONE else, but most difficult with our spouse? I don’t know the answer, but have found that this is a common issue. HELP!

  12. I hear ya, Lori and understand. Charlie always says – “make being nice a habit” – do it again and again until it becomes second nature!! Not a bad exercise for ALL of us!!

  13. […] – bookmarked by 4 members originally found by heesoo on 2008-12-14 In Marriage, Nice is a Necessity… https://eveannunziato.wordpress.com/2008/07/08/in-marriage-nice-is-a-necessity/ – bookmarked by 2 […]


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